Move over turkey, chicken will be the star of Thanksgiving this year. Get ready for some sultry food porn. Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook by F.L. Fowler will bring out the dirty cook in you. Food is an aphrodisiac for some. This parody cookbook will get you hot and bothered in the kitchen. The book includes sizzling recipes like Mustard Spanked Chicken and Dripping Thighs. Keep your tongues at bay. You will never go back to KFC. Every dinner will now be a turn-on.
“I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious.