The Selfish Sister by David Sedaris with Illustrations by Bob Staake

Here’s a literary pairing you never saw coming—like dipping fries in a milkshake or wearing sequins to a tax audit, it’s weirdly perfect. Enter David Sedaris, the master of sharp, dark humor and bestselling essays, teaming up with Bob Staake, the brilliantly quirky illustrator whose surreal, whimsical artwork has lit up The New Yorker, numerous magazines, and more than 75 books. Together, they’ve created a picture book that feels like Dr. Seuss took a detour through a haunted carnival—and couldn’t resist sticking around.

The Selfish Sister by Toon Books is a deliciously deranged tale that plunges headfirst into the absurd chaos of sibling rivalry. At its center is a sister who is so selfish that she makes Narcissus look like a selfless volunteer. Not content with hoarding toys, treats, and attention, she sets her sights on something a bit more… vital—her brother’s kidney. Yes, she wants everything. And she usually gets it, because saying “no” to her is like challenging a tornado to a staring contest. Her family? Utterly defeated, running themselves ragged trying to appease her every outrageous whim.

Sedaris’s razor-sharp rhymes dance on the edge of madness, while Staake’s wild and wonderfully twisted illustrations explode across the pages like a kaleidoscope of caffeine. The result is a deeply unsettling and laugh-out-loud book—a rhyming, raucous, rhubarb-colored fever dream you’ll want to revisit (once you’ve recovered).

Perfect for parents, kids with a taste for the absurd, and anyone who’s ever lost a remote control—and possibly a vital organ—to a tyrannical sibling.

Humorist David Sedaris has already dipped his wickedly funny toes into the kiddie pool before—teaming up with Olivia creator Ian Falconer for the hilariously offbeat picture book Pretty Ugly. So yes, folks, this isn’t his first rodeo in the children’s section. Consider him a repeat offender—armed with a thesaurus, a twisted sense of humor, and absolutely no fear of warping young minds (in the best possible way).

Sedaris can’t resist the lure of writing for the juice-box crowd, especially when he can lace it with enough sarcasm and surrealism to keep adults snickering behind the bedtime storybook. With each venture into kid-lit, he’s not just coloring outside the lines—he’s setting the coloring book on fire and replacing it with something hilarious, mildly unhinged, and oddly heartwarming.

So if you’re surprised to see Sedaris back in the children’s aisle, you shouldn’t be. This man is on a mission—to make storytime just a little stranger, a lot funnier, and wildly inappropriate in the most delightful way. Only downside? We have to wait more than six whole months for this mischief-fueled masterpiece to drop. That’s half a year of pure, Sedaris-Staake suspense.