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Clerks I-III New Gimmicky Premium Box is Over the Top

Witness the ultimate example of consumerism: a package containing all three of Kevin Smith’s Clerks films on both Blu-ray and Digital platforms, beautifully presented in a breathtaking 3D miniature replica of the iconic Quick Stop and RST Video storefronts. Why settle for a mundane DVD collection when you can own it in 3D?

If you recall the obsolete VHS tape, fear not. This superfluous set includes a VHS return slot that purportedly works, enabling you to stow away your Blu-ray discs without apprehension of accruing late charges. Though some may deem it sentimental, it’s difficult to dispute that nothing exudes “worth” like a cheesy throwback.

Join the beloved Gen-X icons on an exhilarating journey as they embark on the transition from being disillusioned and cynical store clerks in the original Clerks film to owning small businesses in Clerks III. Witness their gripping struggle as they navigate rooftop roller hockey and the profound absurdities of work and life. Who needs character development when you have rooftop roller hockey? Experience their epic three-decade odyssey toward success and observe their personal growth along the way.

If you value extravagance, novelty, and sentimentality above usefulness and significance, then you absolutely must acquire this limited-edition package. It’s a lavish tribute to consumerism and fan culture that you don’t want to miss out on. However, I want to make it clear that, while I’m a fervent admirer of the original Clerks, I believe that some movies shouldn’t be tampered with by creating sequels. Regrettably, the Clerks sequels have lost some of their former glory and charm of the original. As a result, despite already owning the first Clerks, I won’t be purchasing any of the sequels.

Just in case you want to buy this overexuberant box set, you will be happy to know it will be released on November 7, 2023.