Saints, Sinners and a Man Who Carried His Own Head!

So all the ghouls and girls have paraded through the streets, screaming, shrieking and scaring the living daylights out of each other. For a while, it looked like a testing ground for The Purge. Costumes, creepy creatures and enough supernatural activity to keep a horror convention busy for a year.

But now the masks come off, the candy bowls are empty, and November 1 brings us something rather different. It’s All Saints’ Day!

Also known as All Hallows’ Day or Hallowmas, this Christian celebration honours all the saints believed to have attained heaven, both officially recognized and those whose names never made the calendar. And what an interesting collection of characters they are.

Take Christina the Astonishing, also known as Christina Mirabilis. Born around 1150 in what is now Belgium, she supposedly died following a seizure in her twenties. During her funeral, however, she reportedly came back to life and rose towards the church rafters. She claimed she couldn’t tolerate the smell of human sin and spent the rest of her life behaving in ways that would make an ordinary neighbour reach for the telephone.

According to medieval accounts, Christina avoided people by climbing trees, hiding in unusual places and even throwing herself into burning ovens and icy rivers. She was also said to have been swept around by the wheels of a watermill without serious injury. Apparently, ordinary hiding spots just weren’t going to cut it.

Christina certainly had a remarkable way of dealing with the world, but she wasn’t the only saint whose story sounds like it belongs in a supernatural adventure. Consider Saint Denis, whose legend takes things in a rather different direction. He didn’t just survive the impossible. He supposedly kept preaching after losing his head!

According to medieval legend, Denis was beheaded by Roman executioners near Paris. Rather than accepting that his preaching days were over, he supposedly picked up his severed head and walked approximately six kilometres while continuing to preach about repentance. Talk about dedication! Most people would have called it a day.

I recently saw a fellow downtown preaching into a microphone. Imagine if Denis had one. He’d probably never give it back. Denis the Menace takes on a whole new meaning!

And speaking of saints who refused to let ordinary limitations get in their way, our next fellow took things right off the ground. Meet Saint Joseph of Cupertino (1603–1663), better known as the Flying Friar. Accounts describe him levitating during moments of religious ecstasy, sometimes rising into the air during Mass. His reported flights attracted so much attention that his superiors restricted his public appearances.

I wonder if The Flying Nun borrowed a little inspiration from this fellow. Robin Hood could certainly have used him. No ladders, no ropes, no complicated escape plan. Just send the friar over the castle walls!

I don’t remember catechism lessons getting this exciting! Walking on water? Okay, impressive. But a guy carrying his own severed head? Now you’ve got my attention! And a friar who reportedly flies during Mass? Where do I sign up?

Forget the Marvel Universe. Christina the Astonishing, Saint Denis and the Flying Friar could form their own superhero team. Levitation, supernatural endurance, a head-carrying preacher and a flying monk. Quite a lineup, and nobody needed a radioactive spider bite.

Anyway, happy All Saints’ Day! May your day be blessed, your feet stay firmly on the ground, and your head remain exactly where it belongs.