The Canadiens and Bruins Have a Sweater Problem

The NHL’s Hometown Remix jerseys have arrived, and after watching the Montreal Canadiens take on the Boston Bruins, I have to wonder what happened in the design department.

These are two of hockey’s oldest rivals, with generations of history behind them. They’re battling on the ice, but perhaps there’s another competition underway: who can produce the ugliest sweater?

Let’s start with Montreal. The predominantly white design features a white-on-white version of the famous crest, colourful floral and provincial symbols on the sleeves, and a gradient along the sides. There’s plenty of Montreal symbolism, but the result feels busy in some places and strangely plain in others. That iconic crest deserves to stand out, not play hide-and-seek.

Boston has gone in a completely different direction, embracing brown, gold lettering and a collegiate varsity look. The word BRUINS stretches across the chest, complete with numbers and university-style shoulder patches. It’s meant to celebrate Boston’s college culture and hockey heritage. Still, where’s the bear? At first glance, it looks more like a university team waiting for the campus bus.

I know Christmas is approaching, but these are the sweaters I’d be tempted to leave under the tree. For two Original Six franchises with such rich histories, is this really the best the design teams could come up with? They look like uniforms ordered for a junior hockey tournament on a shoestring budget. Perhaps these were simply the last colours left in the warehouse.

If Roch Carrier ever writes a sequel to The Hockey Sweater, I suspect a few children might hang their heads in shame. And who approved these designs? Claude? Gemini? Maybe somebody typed, “Give me something different,” and walked away before the computer finished.

Of course, to each their own. Some fans will love them, and that’s perfectly fine. But if I’m paying a small fortune for an NHL sweater, I want something regal. I want to wear it with pride, not look like I’m modelling a design experiment.

And if you don’t agree with my opinion, that’s fine too. Just don’t be surprised if I’m ready to drop the gloves. We’re talking hockey, after all!

I have a feeling Denis Lemieux from Slap Shot would understand. He might take one look at these sweaters and decide he’d rather stay in the penalty box.

“You go to da box for two minutes, ya know, by yourself… you feel shame… and then you get free.”

Only this time, I don’t think he’d be in any hurry to get back on the ice.

Some rivalries deserve respect. These jerseys deserve a penalty for unnecessary roughness to the eyes.